I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
