Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
