12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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