forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
