He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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