i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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