Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
