i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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