But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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