Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
