Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
