I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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