i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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