therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
