Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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