Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
