he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
