So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
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