My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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