bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
