Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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