Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
