I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
