My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
