Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
