yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
