OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
