Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
