But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
