wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
