I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
