Moan for me like Helen Keller
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my being single is dangerous.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize