those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Randomize
