I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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