On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Less talking, more tequila
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize