I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
