Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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