I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
