i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
how drunk are you?
Several
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
