Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
