my shit smells like andre
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
