There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
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