i just had sex bonerless
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
