so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
