DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
