So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Well I just put wine in my tea
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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