yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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