JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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