I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
