We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
