A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
