the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
