Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
