ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
