it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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