whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
