Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
