Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I deserve this hangover.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
